Remember the golden rules to live by, given to you when you were younger? Did these lessons make the world seem as simple as black and white? Always be kind, or honesty is the best policy. It would be best if you always were polite and well-mannered. Do these sound familiar to you?
As you grow older, you realize that the world is a much more complicated place than what you were brought up to believe. Sometimes making the right choice is complex and confusing. Often you land in what feels like lose-lose situations. You might not see the truth even when it is right in front of you because it is too painful for you to admit.
Does it feel like no matter how much you try and protect yourself from the harsh realities of life, they continue to stare back at you, even when in denial and pretending like everything is okay? There are always some things you know to be true but wish they were not. Until you confront those truths and accept them, you are always going to be stuck facing the same old dilemmas over and over again.
Here are eight of the most uncomfortable but essential truths we all need to accept in life.
1. The only one who can change you is You!
Just as you are responsible for your happiness, you too are responsible for your own personal growth and development. The moment you stop living in denial and open your eyes to your flaws and toxic traits, the sooner you stop making the same mistakes over and over again. Everyone in your life may be aware of it already, but until you call yourself out, it will not make much of a difference because the only person who can make any real, lasting change in your life is you.
2. Only you can give yourself closure!
Maybe you were in an unhealthy relationship with someone, or you went through a traumatizing experience. It could also be that you are still trying to move on from someone who abandoned you. Whatever it may have been, you must understand that while your trauma is not your fault, your healing is your responsibility. Closure is not something you get from someone else. It is something only you can give yourself as it is a choice you make to move forward. Keep going, and do not let your pain define you anymore. Closure is the peace of mind that only you can give yourself.
3. A no-risk policy is the biggest risk of all!
Are you convinced that playing it safe and staying in your comfort zone is the smartest thing to do? The truth is, it is not because living in constant fear of failure, hurt and disappointment also means missing out on some of the best and most beautiful things life has to offer. As the saying goes, you have to risk failure to succeed and risk heartbreak to find love. Taking risks is essential if you ever want to experience worthwhile things like love, friendship, passion, and adventure. These things all come at a cost, but the price is considered much better paid than living a life full of regrets.
4. Success requires making difficult choices!
You only have a finite amount of time in a day, and anything you do is a choice about how to spend it. Will you catch up on email or meet your friends for dinner? Will you spend an extra hour at the office, or will you go to watch a movie? You also have to be a person outside of work. Navigating that balance requires an endless series of decisions. And without making such difficult decisions, you can be rest assured that success won’t come easy. There is almost no situation in life where success will come to you easily. You won’t see the hard work successful people put into their lives. But trust me, there is not just a lot o.hard work, but also more importantly difficult choices as well.
5. Quitting is for winners…sometimes!
Life is a game of finding the perfect balance between putting yourself out there and knowing how and when to quit while still ahead. Because despite what you have been told all your life, quitting can be a good thing too. Knowing when to stop, change directions and leave behind a negative situation will save you a lot of heartaches as you grow in your path. So think long and hard about which battles are worth fighting and give up anything else that no longer serves you. Don't quit because it is hard. Quit because it makes you unhappy, because it is no longer working and because you deserve better.
6. If they really wanted to, they would!
Are you still waiting for your phone to light up with their text, or maybe they told you they had to call you back and left you hanging? It hurts to realize that people you love and care about may not always feel the same way about you. The wiser approach is to come to terms with it sooner rather than later so you don't end up wasting your time. If you need to force someone to make an effort to keep a relationship alive, be it romantic or platonic - you are better off not having them around at all. Yes, it is painful to admit, but you need to let go of those partners, friends and family members who take you for granted and don't see your value. Instead, go to where you know you are loved and appreciated.
7. Happiness is not a destination!
Happiness is a state of mind. You won't find it waiting for you somewhere down the road, someday in the future. It is not something you will magically find when you finally get married or land your dream job because happiness is a journey, not a destination. If you can't find happiness where you are now, you won't find it anywhere else. Not until you give up the idea that happiness is anywhere but here and start being more grateful for what you have and where you are right now.
8. You can't love someone else until you love yourself first!
Yes, it may sound cliche. However, there is a lot of truth to be found in this saying. Because no matter how hard you try, no matter how perfect your relationship or your partner may be, no amount of affection or love can fill the void in a person who doesn't love themselves. You need to have a good relationship with yourself filled with honesty, knowledge, acceptance and compassion. Otherwise, none of your romantic relationships will ever work out. Or worse, they might even become maladaptive coping mechanisms for you and make you more dependent, needy and insecure.
It is always better, to be honest with ourselves about how we feel and what it all means. Living in denial of our problems and flaws is not going to do anyone any good, and staying stuck in our problematic ways will get us nowhere in life. It might feel scary, difficult and overwhelming to confront our issues head-on, but the only way to get past your problems is to get through them, and at the end of the day, an uncomfortable truth is much better than a comfortable lie.
Do you relate to any of the things we have mentioned here? Is there a painful or uncomfortable truth you are struggling to come to terms with right now? Let us know through your comments below! We will love to hear from you and your journey.
Namaste!
There are many ways you can seek help to deal with mental health issues. Psychotherapy, Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis are the more conventional approaches. However, there are other methods like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) that can also be an effective treatment. However, treatment of mental health needs a holistic approach and should include changes in nutrition, lifestyle etc.
Yoga Therapy has also come to be recognised as an effective complementary treatment to support those with mental health issues. Meditation is among one of the more effective tools of Yoga to strengthen the mind and help alleviate many of the symptoms of mental health issues.
Choose a method that is most suitable to you and that which is easily accessible. No matter which line of healing you choose to pursue, it is important that you don’t delay seeking treatment. Also please note that you are not alone in this journey and there is appropriate help available if you seek it!
Dr. Kausthub Desikachar also assists many clients in their healing journey that includes mental health issues. He offers insightful mentoring through private consultations, which can be taken either face-to-face or online . To book a session with him, kindly visit his private consultations page by clicking here>
If you are curious to know who is Dr Kausthub Desikachar, kindly click here>
Please note: This article is written for educational purposes only and is based on the personal opinion of the author. It is not a substitute for professional advice. Rather, it is meant for reflective self-guidance purposes only. We strongly recommend that you always follow your intuition in deciding what is best for you!
We are thrilled to announce a new course for August 2021 titled Empower your Self! The Power of meditation to embody your true nature!
Dr Kausthub Desikachar is the successor and current lineage holder of the classical Yoga tradition of T Krishnamacharya & TKV Desikachar. He is an acclaimed yoga teacher, yoga therapist, healer and spiritual adviser. His objectives include the sharing of the authentic teachings of Yoga to the modern era, as well as building bridges between different healing modalities to promote physical, emotional social and spiritual health.
He is the founder of Viniyoga Pte. Ltd. and also the co-founder of Krishnamacharya Healing & Yoga Foundation, India, and the founder and president of Europe based KHYF International.
Dr Kausthub Desikachar is a champion of women’s empowerment and guides many of his female students to embody their inner strength. To view his interviews with Viniyoga Women, visit this page here - https://www.viniyoga.com.sg/viniyoga-women
He also offers a Mantra blog, where students can listen to different Mantras from the Vedic Tradition. To benefit from this, visit here - https://www.viniyoga.com.sg/mantra
Dr Kausthub Desikachar also assists many clients in their healing journey that includes mental health issues. He regularly writes articles on Mental Health issues and these can be found here - https://www.viniyoga.com.sg/mental-health
Being an amazing Yoga Therapist and Spiritual guide, Dr Kausthub Desikachar also offers insightful mentoring through private consultations, which can be taken either face-to-face or online. To book a session with him, kindly visit his private consultations page by clicking here>
To view his other Yoga teaching page, visit here https://www.kausthub.yoga/
Apart from Yoga Teaching, Kausthub is also an avid photographer, inspirational writer and poet. To view, some of his inspirations, visit the website www.kausthubdesikachar.com