Do you think that all those around you are amazing and genuine people? Especially because they are so sweet, nice and polite. Or is there a feeling in your gut that tells you a different story? Trying to tell the difference between someone who is genuinely nice and someone who is faking it, can be as confounding as trying to tell the difference between a masterpiece and a well-made copy. 

This is because fake people are especially brilliant at masking their true emotions and hence it makes it more challenging to identify them. But don’t worry. If you can pay closer attention there are some clues that can give away their phoniness and can protect you in the process. 

So here are fifteen signs of Fake Nice People who you should definitely avoid.

1)They Act Overexcited To See You
A true friend will be happy to see you, but never overly excited. Phoney people will act over-excited to see you, just to impress you or show how important you are to them. When you run into them, they may hug you tightly and even excited exclaim ‘Oh My God! let’s totally catch up for drinks this weekend.’ But you know that won't call, and they know you won't call, but somehow since they put the message out there, they consider it a win and manage to make you feel like crap for not spending time with them.

2) It’s All About Them!
Fake people always tend to make everything about them. There is no denying that there’s something about them that makes them crave everyone’s approval. They brag about themselves, their family, their children, their status etc. and often exhibit a self-righteous attitude. When you recognize this moment that it is all about them, then you have woken up to how fake they are.

3) Their Body Language Puts You On Edge!
The body never lies. It is often not easy to pick up someone’s body language at first sight. But if you know where to look, you will surely recognize signs of deception. Whether they look you up and down, give you a half-hearted smile, or hold uncomfortably long eye contact to subtly control you - fake people tend to give off their insincerity through their body language.

4) They are Passive Aggressive!
Fake people are really good at speaking in a passive-aggressive manner, and can easily find a way to insult you with a compliment. They may even ask you backhanded questions so that they can line themselves up to insult you. They may ask where you got a product from, whether you have lost weight, or something similar. But they don’t follow up with a sincere compliment. Instead, they give you some comments that just make you feel like crap. This will slowly reduce your self-confidence and you may not even realize that it’s happening.

5) They Don’t Listen When You Talk!
A fake person will ask a question but then won’t bother to listen to the response. They will pretend to listen, but they are on their phones, updating statuses, or talking to someone else while they are sitting right in front of you. They often give inappropriate reactions because they are not paying attention or they move on to another question or topic altogether. You will also notice that a lot of the time they are not able to recall things you have said.

6) They Always Talk About The Misfortunes Of Others!
Often, you can tell whether someone is fake or genuine by the way they talk about other people. Fake nice people will constantly talk about the misfortunes of others and pretend to be concerned about the person, when in fact they actually enjoy feeling sorry for him or her. At first, it seems like they are sympathetic to others which could make them seem nice. But if they do it often, you will start to notice the deeper meaning behind it. They may actually enjoy discussing the crappy things others are going through which is not nice at all. And it also probably means they are talking about you in the same way to others.

7) They Seek Attention To Validate Themselves!
If you encounter someone who is constantly seeking attention or approval, it’s usually because they need confirmation that their persona is liked by others. Whereas genuine people show up and show you who they are, fake people need you to buy into the story they are telling. If you don’t pay attention to them, it makes it clear that you are not buying their act and this turns their world upside down.

8) They Like To Show Off!
When someone is genuinely nice, they don't need to make a huge deal about it. They don't even feel the need to point it out. But when someone is being fake, they are acting this way because they want everyone to think they are nice - and so they have to make sure everyone knows. They do things like donate or volunteer for charities, but then brag about it to everyone they meet. Or they make you a fancy birthday cake, but can't be bothered to know your favourite flavour or even remember that you are allergic to nuts, they just want the praise for making a pretty cake. Fake people are only nice if it makes them look good or benefits them in some way. They want others to give them props for their behaviour.

9) They Constantly Interrupt While You are Talking!
It’s pretty easy to spot this behaviour. If someone can’t be bothered to listen to you until you have finished talking, they are not really interesting in what you are saying or talking with you perhaps at you but not with you. This kind of behaviour is a sure giveaway that you are talking with an insincere person, regardless of how nice they may seem.

10) They Exaggerate And Lie!
You repeatedly hear the same stories from a fake person although they don't realize how often they repeat themselves. Eventually you start to notice the inconsistencies, and even flat-out lies as they recount slightly different versions of the same self-promoting stories. If you then start to verify their stories or information, you will likely find that exaggerated or false self-praise is involved.

11) They Belittle You!
Fake nice people often direct the conversation so that they can talk about themselves. They will ask how your weekend was so that they can tell you how great their weekend was. They will ask if you are going on holiday so they can talk about their holiday. Or, they will ask about your life and find ways to put you down. Basically, their intention is to belittle you, one way or another.

12) They Pretend To Try To Please Everyone!
Fake people are in a constant state of juggling balls that they can’t possibly keep in the air. They will try to say yes to everyone because they can’t stand rejection or the idea that they might not actually be able to do everything they say they can. Instead, they promise things, say yes and then many people are left out in the cold when the promises go undelivered.

13) They Are Never Around Or Available!
You call and call, but they never return your calls. You show up, but they are busy. You run into them on the street, but they are late for a meeting. They can’t come to your party because of work. While this person constantly tells you they can’t wait to see you again, there’s always some reason or another why he or she doesn’t want to hang out with you.

14) They only Respect Power!
A genuine person will be respectful to everyone because that’s how we should treat each other. A fake person will be nice and respectful to you, but only if you have the power to get them what they want. If you have more experience at the job, they will be nice to you so that they can get ahead. If you are the way in to a social circle, they will be nice to you in order to be invited to join. The thing is, once they get what they want, their niceness and respect will lessen or completely go away. They don’t actually care about you as a person, they just want what you can offer.

15) They are Too Busy To Help!
Disappearing acts are common among fake people. They hang around when they get what they need from you, but the minute you need something from them, they bailout. Whether it’s a shoulder to cry on after a breakup, or helping you pack and move apartments, you can never count on fake people to be there when the going gets tough. They are not willing to take a minute out of their own time to help someone in need. 

We are all self-interested to some degree, but a person who is authentic is the same on the outside as they are on the inside. A fake person on the other hand, expresses attitudes, behaviours, and thoughts that are not truly their own just to make themselves seem similar to the target they are trying to influence. 

Keep an eye out for these kind of people, and make room for more meaningful, genuine relationships in your life. 

Let us know through your comments below if any of these resonate with you and if have already started to identify such phonies in your life. If you have not yet done this, start doing so and let us know in a few months how it has been for you!

Namaste!

Dr Kausthub Desikachar

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Mental health is very vital for our overall wellbeing. There are many ways you can seek help to deal with mental health issues. Psychotherapy, Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis are the more conventional approaches. However, there are other methods like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) that can also be an effective treatment. However, treatment of mental health needs a holistic approach and should include changes in nutrition, lifestyle etc.

Yoga Therapy has also come to be recognised as an effective complementary treatment to support those with mental health issues. Meditation is among one of the more effective tools of Yoga to strengthen the mind and help alleviate many of the symptoms of mental health issues.

Choose a method that is most suitable to you and that which is easily accessible. No matter which line of healing you choose to pursue, it is important that you don’t delay seeking treatment. Also please note that you are not alone in this journey and there is appropriate help available if you seek it!

Dr. Kausthub Desikachar also assists many clients in their healing journey that includes mental health issues. He offers insightful mentoring through private consultations, which can be taken either face-to-face or online . To book a session with him, kindly visit his private consultations page by clicking here>

If you are curious to know who is Dr Kausthub Desikachar, kindly click here>

Please note: This article is written for educational purposes only and is based on the personal opinion of the author as well as information gathered through research that others have done on these topics. It is not a substitute for professional advice. Rather, it is meant for reflective self-guidance purposes only. We strongly recommend that you always follow your intuition in deciding what is best for you!

Dr Kausthub Desikachar is the successor and current lineage holder of the classical Yoga tradition of T Krishnamacharya & TKV Desikachar. He is an acclaimed yoga teacher, yoga therapist, healer and spiritual adviser. His objectives include the sharing of the authentic teachings of Yoga to the modern era, as well as building bridges between different healing modalities to promote physical, emotional social and spiritual health.

He is the founder of Viniyoga Pte. Ltd. and also the co-founder of Krishnamacharya Healing & Yoga Foundation, India, and the founder and president of Europe based KHYF International.

Dr Kausthub Desikachar is a champion of women’s empowerment and guides many of his female students to embody their inner strength. To view his interviews with Viniyoga Women, visit this page here - https://www.viniyoga.com.sg/viniyoga-women

He also offers a Mantra blog, where students can listen to different Mantras from the Vedic Tradition. To benefit from this, visit here - https://www.viniyoga.com.sg/mantra

Dr Kausthub Desikachar also assists many clients in their healing journey that includes mental health issues. He regularly writes articles on Mental Health issues and these can be found here - https://www.viniyoga.com.sg/mental-health

Being an amazing Yoga Therapist and Spiritual guide, Dr Kausthub Desikachar also offers insightful mentoring through private consultations, which can be taken either face-to-face or online. To book a session with him, kindly visit his private consultations page by clicking here>

To view his other Yoga teaching page, visit here https://www.kausthub.yoga/

Apart from Yoga Teaching, Kausthub is also an avid photographer, inspirational writer and poet. To view, some of his inspirations, visit the website www.kausthubdesikachar.com