Most of us experience trauma in one way or another throughout our lives. It can originate in the form of excessive pain, abuse of partners, domestic violence, a significant loss or numerous other ways. The deep distress from trauma can happen at any age and can last almost all of our lives if unhealed. It seriously impacts mental health, especially if it was experienced during childhood or adolescence and left unresolved.

Even though we usually recognize that we have had a traumatic past, it is very seldom that we put in the hard yards to heal from them. This is because painful emotions like grief, guilt, sadness, or betrayal are too intense for our minds to bear at the time they happen. Instead of putting in efforts to process these, we bury those thoughts and feelings into our subconscious mind, where they continue to remain and wreak havoc. When we neglect trauma, we give it the power to destroy our lives significantly.

Trauma is rarely healed by accident or chance. It would be best if you worked on healing your traumas and have a better life. You can only heal it through sustained intentional actions and thoughts under the careful supervision of a competent professional.

If you think you have done enough work and healed from your trauma or that your experiences were not that traumatising check out these vital signs of unhealed trauma.

Although there are many, we have compiled a list of ten of the most important signs of unhealed trauma!

1) Negative self-esteem.
There are many different kinds of trauma, and even then, each experience will be different. However, almost always, trauma lowers your self-worth, primarily when it occurred in the early years of your life. Being treated as if you are not a human being of value will make you think you don't have value. Research studies have revealed that if you have PTSD, you are more likely to have very low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness.

Whether you have experienced neglect, abandonment, violence or something else that made you feel hopeless, ask yourself now what you think about who you are? When looking at yourself in the mirror, how do you feel? And critically, if you don’t feel so good about yourself, ask yourself why?

2) Strong Defensive Mechanisms
When you feel sad, disappointed or upset, do you take time to handle to process your emotions? Do you cry, journal, exercise, spend time alone or vent it out in a healthy way? If the answer is no, or if you are thinking, 'I never feel that way,' or ‘I need to man up to challenges’ etc., you probably shut yourself in and the others out. Building such a defensive wall is a typical trauma response repressing your feelings in the past and likely resulted in a build-up of negative emotions from not having the support you needed. These walls usually take the form of silence, anger or fear.

The worst part of putting up these walls is separating you from yourself, your emotions and other people, even those who genuinely care for you and will fail to understand your true identity, how you feel and what matters to you. When you shut out the negative emotions, you also lose your capacity for joy. You shut out pleasure, happiness and comfort and become apathetic, not caring about anyone or anything. If you want to heal from this emotional numbness caused by your past traumas, you will need to learn healthy coping mechanisms and ways to process your emotions safely. 

3) Doubting Positive Changes
When something great comes into your life such as a job promotion, a love interest or a success in a project, do you question or doubt it? Do you live the mantra - Good things don't happen to me! If you resist positive change, it could be a result of your traumatic experiences. It could also be a result of your low self-esteem. If you feel like you are not good enough, you will think that you don't deserve positivity or happiness. You may also feel guilt or shame for being rewarded. If you feel undeserving, guilty or shameful when good things happen in your life, you are probably still suffering from an unhealed past. 

4) Depression and anxiety
Trauma could trigger feelings of depression and anxiety in victims even if that trauma happened a very long time ago. If you always feel on edge, you might suffer from chronic stress. It can also manifest as an intense, excessive worrying feeling. Anxiety can cause you to panic about simple everyday situations. Depression can manifest as an overwhelming feeling of sadness even over small things. The deep sorrow can be painful and impact your thought processes and your behaviour. Living with anxiety and depression is not easy, and neither is living with unhealed trauma. Unfortunately, many research studies have shown that they often appear together, creating an unstable mental state filled with uncertainty.

5) Fear of Failure
Fear of failure is common, even in those who have not been through intense trauma. But when that fear becomes so strong that it prevents you from trying new things, learning new skills, or going to new places, it could be an unhealthy sign of your unhealed trauma. We achieve success only through failing and trying again and again. If you are so afraid of failure that you miss opportunities, block creativity and rather grow insecurities, your situation won’t improve on its own. Unresolved trauma can make you believe that you will never be the best, you are not good enough and you will always be a failure. None of which are true. 

6) Fear of Success
On the other hand, repressed trauma can also cause a fear of success. Strange as it may sound, fear of success is associated with trauma that involves abandonment during youth. It forces you to hold yourself back from achieving something you want. It does not stem from a fear of not getting it. It stems from a fear that you might get it and then lose it. This trauma response can sabotage your chances for success before you even begin. 

7) Overplanning
How do you feel when things don't go the way you want them to? If you get frustrated, do you let that emotion present itself and pass, or do you hold on to it? Sometimes after trauma, a sense of control becomes very important to the victim, as during the traumatic experience, you lost complete control. If you find yourself planning excessively, it could be a sign that you are terrified of feeling helpless again and of being vulnerable. Constant worry, overplanning and micromanaging are signs that you distrust the world and yourself. They too are symptoms of underlying trauma. 

8) Hurting Yourself or Others
Trauma makes your emotions and consequent behaviours go haywire. You may act sad when you are happy and be angry when you are down. And when emotions get intense, your behaviour intensifies as well. This may also cause you to exhibit temper tantrums frequently, making you scream and yell at others to get your way. If you lash out at others, push people away or isolate yourself during difficult times when you actually need support, it could be signs of unresolved your past trauma. You may unintentionally or even unintentionally make your mental struggle worse and harm yourself. Sometimes this emotional pain boils over, and you might hurt yourself or others physically. The results of trauma oversensitivity, volatility and anger can make it easy for things to escalate our control. If you lose your temper frequently, think about how it might relate to your trauma. 

9) Inability to be focused 
Trauma changes our psychology by altering the physiology of our brains. Difficulty in concentrating, inability to remain focused on the task at hand and memory loss are measurable side effects of traumatic experiences. Don't blame yourself if you experience unexplainable blackouts or difficulty maintaining a clear chain of thought. It could be your mind's way of telling you that it needs help. And don't hesitate to seek this help!

10) Inability to Ask for Help
Do you find it impossible to talk to others about your feelings? Or feel that no one else can help you? If the answer is yes, or if you have never shared your trauma with anyone else, it could be a sign that you struggle to ask for help. That refusal to rely on others could stem from your past mistreatment. Maybe you are afraid of rejection, disappointment or judgement. This is yet another strong sign that you have not yet healed from your traumas. 

Do you experience any of these signs of unhealed trauma? If you do, know that you can heal your trauma, overcome every one of these challenges, and become healthy, happy, and fulfilled.

You will need the support of close family and friends. A professional therapist can teach you coping mechanisms prove to aid in the healing process. You can let go of what no longer serves you, bit by bit until the weight has been lifted off your shoulders. When you make room for acceptance and healing, you will experience self-love, courage and a sense of wholeness that will transform your life. Don’t hesitate to heal from your traumas. It is never too late!

Namaste!

There are many ways you can seek help to deal with mental health issues. Psychotherapy, Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis are the more conventional approaches. However, there are other methods like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) that can also be an effective treatment. However, treatment of mental health needs a holistic approach and should include changes in nutrition, lifestyle etc.

Yoga Therapy has also come to be recognised as an effective complementary treatment to support those with mental health issues. Meditation is among one of the more effective tools of Yoga to strengthen the mind and help alleviate many of the symptoms of mental health issues.

Choose a method that is most suitable to you and that which is easily accessible. No matter which line of healing you choose to pursue, it is important that you don’t delay seeking treatment. Also please note that you are not alone in this journey and there is appropriate help available if you seek it!

Dr. Kausthub Desikachar also assists many clients in their healing journey that includes mental health issues. He offers insightful mentoring through private consultations, which can be taken either face-to-face or online . To book a session with him, kindly visit his private consultations page by clicking here>

Please note: This article is written for educational purposes only and is based on the personal opinion of the author. It is not a substitute for professional advice. Rather, it is meant for reflective self-guidance purposes only. We strongly recommend that you always follow your intuition in deciding what is best for you!

We are thrilled to announce a new course for July 2021 titled Embrace your Heart! The Power of meditation in expressing your intimate feelings!

Dr Kausthub Desikachar is the successor and current lineage holder of the classical Yoga tradition of T Krishnamacharya & TKV Desikachar. He is an acclaimed yoga teacher, yoga therapist, healer and spiritual adviser. His objectives include the sharing of the authentic teachings of Yoga to the modern era, as well as building bridges between different healing modalities to promote physical, emotional social and spiritual health.

He is the founder of Viniyoga Pte. Ltd. and also the co-founder of Krishnamacharya Healing & Yoga Foundation, India, and the founder and president of Europe based KHYF International.

Dr Kausthub Desikachar is a champion of women’s empowerment and guides many of his female students to embody their strength. To view his interviews with Viniyoga Women, visit this page here - https://www.viniyoga.com.sg/viniyoga-women

He also offers a Mantra blog, where students can listen to different Mantras from the Vedic Tradition. To benefit from this, visit here - https://www.viniyoga.com.sg/mantra

Dr Kausthub Desikachar also assists many clients in their healing journey that includes mental health issues. He regularly writes articles on Mental Health issues and these can be found here - https://www.viniyoga.com.sg/mental-health

Being an amazing Yoga Therapist and Spiritual guide, Dr Kausthub Desikachar also offers insightful mentoring through private consultations, which can be taken either face-to-face or online. To book a session with him, kindly visit his private consultations page by clicking here>

Apart from Yoga Teaching, Kausthub is also an avid photographer, inspirational writer and poet. To view, some of his inspirations, visit the website www.kausthubdesikachar.com